The holidays that have passed were good,  and so far the new year has treated me pretty well. For the most part.

A little over a week ago,  8 days if you want to be picky,  Ann called me about 15 minutes before my alarm was set to wake me up.  I groggily answered the phone with “yeah, what’s up”

Ann replied with “My truck just broke down on me.”

“Huh? what do you mean?”

“…. It broke down, as in stopped working, shut off…”

At this point I initially was going to say “Well what do you want ME to do about it, I’m sleeping here!” but thankfully my mouth refused to actually SAY that, and instead chose the way more tactful and safer “Let me put clothes on and I’ll come help – where are you?”

So,  I did just that and about 15 minutes later pulled up behind her broken down truck.   We called a shop I had taken my old Honda to a few times (that conveniently offered free towing and diagnostics) and after the tow truck showed up to tow it we went back home to await news.

The shop – Edwards Transmissions and Engines (specifically the one up near Castleton on the north side of Indianapolis) – was nothing short of a nightmare.    They continually would inform us that they thought they knew what the problem was, but couldn’t get the truck to die on them.   They then told us they needed to order parts and it would be another day.    The next day it was another excuse.   Come Saturday, a full five days after having the truck,  the day they promised to have it fixed by,  yet another excuse came up of “we need a specialty tool and nobody seems to have it except a place out in Plainfield – we should have the tool monday morning and your truck fixed by early afternoon monday”.

Monday morning, around 11am, they still did not have the tool.    By 2pm they officially GAVE UP on trying to fix the truck and told us to come pick it up.    That’s right folks – the shop that supposedly fixes NOTHING BUT TRANSMISSIONS AND ENGINES *GAVE UP* on trying to fix our truck.    They wasted a week of our time on unkept promises and downright lies.  I usually don’t ever say this but: AVOID THIS SHITHOLE OF A SHOP AT ALL COSTS.  I cannot recommend this place to anybody – ever – for any reason.

Lets list the things that Edwards Transmissions and Engines did WRONG:

1. Lied to us about when they could fix it,  and took an incredibly long time to diagnose the problem
2. Failed to diagnose all of the problems with the truck and frequently told us on status updates that they were going to “look into” the squeaking noises we heard when the truck was on.
3. Probably minor as things go but, did not use disposable floor mats or seat covers – tracking in such nasty things as cigarette butts onto the floor of the truck.
4. Changed all kinds of settings inside the car on the radio – including EVER SINGLE RADIO STATION PRESET.
5. Lied to us and told us that they did not hear any squeaking noises the entire time they had the truck.   How do I know they lied?  It was squeaking when Ann got in it to leave their shop.   Unless it magically required Ann or I to be present for it to squeak Edwards’ staff are a bunch of big fat liars.

The same day Ann took the truck over to the Ford dealership near our house.   She said they were kind, courteous, and professional.  They immediately put disposable floor mats and seat covers in to avoid tracking stuff into the car.  They also kindly gave her a ride home as they would be keeping the car overnight.   They even offered to give her a ride to and from school as long as they had her truck (a service she didn’t use, but was nice of them to offer).

The next morning they had diagnosed the problems.  The Idle air controller needed to be replaced, as did the serpentine belt tensioner and finally the cam shaft (which was the ONE thing that Edwards said they were going to replace,  but for whatever reason couldn’t make it work).   They also topped off her fluids and did an oil change.

So lets look at all the things the Ford dealership did RIGHT:

1. Were professional, courteous and knowledgeable.
2. Quickly and accurately diagnosed the problems.
3. Just as quickly and accurately FIXED the problems.
4. Used disposable floor mats and seat covers.
5. did NOT change any internal settings
6. Offered to provide transportation to / from school (even if we didn’t use it).

As it was – Paul Harvey Ford did everything exactly right.   They gave us the experience we HOPED Edwards Transmissions and Engines would.  I would highly recommend them to anybody who needed work done on their Ford car or truck.

Edwards Transmissions and Engines though…… they’re dead to me.  Unless you like being jerked around, lied to, and having someone doing god knows what to your vehicle, avoid them like the plague.

The government passed a $700 BILLION bailout bill that gave the treasury the ability to spend our taxpayer dollars on a whim.  So far there’s been very little oversight on the process, and the treasury secretary decided not so long ago that his initial plan won’t work, so he’s changing the game.

Now we have other large companies wanting to stick their hands in the honey pot.  The most notable being the “Big Three” automakers (GM, Ford and Chrysler)  who this very week are out in Washington asking our legislators for some $25 Billion dollars.   The reason? They were irresponsible and are going to run out of money.   Their chosen method of travel? PRIVATE FREAKING JETS!

Now, let me explain something to those of you who may not know exactly how expensive it is to fly a private jet someplace.    Many of us are used to thinking about air travel in terms of a $200-400 ticket on an airline, depending on how nice of a seat you get (if the airline has first class), etc.      Compare THAT to flying a private jet,  which would cost approx. $18,000-20,000 for the same trip.   Yes, that’s 18 to 20 THOUSAND DOLLARS. (For my more lascivious readers, that’s enough money to pay for a subscription to three porn websites for 18.5 YEARS.  Yes, YEARS.)

So, these assholes have the balls to fly out to our capital on private jets, a flight that costs them at least 18 thousand dollars,   to beg for money.  Company representatives for each company gave nothing but lame excuses about travel policies that cite safety reasons for why they have to fly private jet.   I think it’s more “I don’t want to give up my personal jet and fly with the normal folk”.    

What’s even more impressive is that, despite years of poor (and slowly growing worse) performance,  a track record that shows a complete inability to adapt and adjust, and a complete and utter lack of inspiration in the design and features of their vehicles – they have the gall to call their current plight a result of the financial crisis.  While yes, that did probably accelerate their decline, it was already well on it’s way to happening.   

Regardless, if we take their argument at face value, they’re essentially coming to the government saying “we can’t sell our products,   because of that we need you to just GIVE us money”.   That, my friends, is not how business is supposed to work.   At Proxito | Bouncepad | DeftMobile,   when we couldn’t get enough people to purchase our products….. we went out of business.   It sucks, but we recognized that we made mistakes, owned up to them and shut down.   It was painful.   It sucked.    But we did it anyways, recognizing that – in the end – it was nobody’s fault but our own.    There was no government bailout,    no $1,000,000 in free money to keep us in operation.   Why, then, should the government, and ultimately the taxpayers, have to bailout the Big Three?  What are we getting in exchange?

Some would argue that what we get in return is a stronger economy,   people keeping their jobs, etc.   I disagree.     Sure, we’ll get those for a short term,   but there’s nothing to force the Big Three to change, and without changes we’re just delaying the inevitable. I am finding the whole thing really difficult to swallow… we should not be rewarding their failures!

I suggest an alternative to just giving them the cash.  We give them the money, they give us a car.   And not one of their crappy cars either.   That way the taxpayers are at least getting something out of the deal.  

GM and Ford both refuse to even consider Bankruptcy as an option.   Both stubbornly refuse to even have a contingency plan in place for if that were to come to pass.  Their reasoning:  If we talk about bankruptcy then nobody is going to buy our cars.   I have news for the CEO’s of those companies:   If you run out of money nobody is going to buy your cars either,   and you’d be much better off having some pre-planning done before you get to that point.  

Oh, and guys, if you’re concerned about running out of money….. maybe you should put the keys to your jet away and fly coach…. Like the rest of us.